To The Grave
by x-HotMess
Summary: Because two can keep a secret if one of them is dead. Nate/Mitchie-ish


x-x-x-x

_Got a secret, can you keep it, swear this one you'll save,  
Better lock it, in your pocket, taking this one to the grave.  
If I show you then I know you won't tell what I said  
'Cause two can keep a secret if one of them is dead._

x-x-x-x

You promised you wouldn't tell. I knew I made a mistake in trusting you. I don't know why I even said anything on the first place. There's just something about you that brings my guard down. I've never felt that with anyone, not even Shane. Especially not with Shane.

I should have listened to you when you said not to put all my eggs in one basket, not to expect Shane Gray to have a complete personality makeover in one night, not to pin all my hopes and dreams on the chance he would change for good. But I did. And he didn't. I watched everything I'd worked for fall to pieces when I saw him on top of Tess.

And you were there to help me pick up the fragments of my broken heart. Not once did you ever say 'I told you so', and I appreciated that. You let me cry on your shoulder and sleep on your couch and eat all your icecream. You were a perfect gentleman. The type of man Shane should have been.

He just couldn't understand why I didn't want to sleep with him. I had constantly affirmed my love for him, as he had for me. But he couldn't take my word for it. He had to have constant physical attention, so he could reassure his insecure ego that I was telling the truth. But no matter how much I said I was uncomfortable with it, he always pushed for more. And more. And more.

But I never gave him what he really wanted. What he really _needed_. So he went somewhere else to satisfy his needs. He went to someone else. Her. Tess Tyler.

I guess I can't really blame her. She's always been in love with Shane. And sometimes your heart totally overrules your head and you throw all inhibitions to the wind. God knows I know about that feeling. That is why I was in that situation in the first place. Because I had acted without thinking, and now I harboured a terrible secret that ruled my life.

So when I discovered Shane and Tess, I became numb with shock. I couldn't believe how close I had come to telling Shane. I felt unbelievably betrayed, but also relieved that I hadn't let my guard slip in front of him. My secret was still safe.

That didn't work with you. You snaked your way past my barriers with tendrils of kindness and empathy. Every word you uttered seemed so sincere and heartfelt. And I knew I could trust you.

x-x-x-x

"Nate?"

"Yes, Mitchie?"

"I have something I want to tell you, but you have to promise not to tell anyone."

"I promise."

"Do you swear on your life?"

"I swear on my life."

But once I let my secret go, instead of feeling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, I felt like I had swallowed an anvil. My stomach dropped and my knees went weak. Why the hell did I tell you, of all people, of my darkest deed? I should have just let in burn in my brain, let it become my living hell. But I was sick of living my life in the shadow of things I tried to hide.

x-x-x-x

**You swore you would never tell.**

And now every time you smile, you look like you have told a secret. Was it mine?

When I ask you, you say you didn't. But you're telling lies. Everyone tells eventually. No one can keep a secret. No one. I can't even keep my own.

And I can't let my secret be told to anyone else. It is one skeleton that is never coming out of my closet. And I'd do anything to stop that from happening.

I'm sorry, Nate.

**You swore you would never tell.**

I know you did. I can tell by the way my friends look at me now. When we go to Jason and Caitlyn's anniversary dinner at their house, I get stared at out of the corner of everyone's eyes.

Peggy and Ella are whispering in the corner, sending nervous glances in my direction.

Jason fusses over me, sending sympathetic looks to you and between the both of you, you make sure that you never take your attention off me.

Shane and Tess refuse to meet my eyes, and they're avoiding each other like the plague. I bet they're thinking they never would have done what they did if the knew what I was capable of. But they know now. And all because you told.

**You swore you would never tell.**

You finally help me escape from the suffocating stares and take me into the master bedroom, sitting down on the bed, wine in hand. You rub circles on my back as I sob into my arms. Look into my eyes and tell me you didn't say anything. Please, can you do that? But you don't. You can't. Instead you look at me like you're hypnotized, like you're keeping something from me. Your eyes droop, and you tighten your grasp on the glass. Are you feeling sleepy, Nathaniel? Keeping secrets can be exhausting. I scowl as you fall back on the pillows.

I know what secret you're keeping. It's not mine. It's your own. Your secret is that you told my secret.

**You swore you would never tell.**

You swore on your life, Nate. And so I tell my secret one last time to your stiff body, kiss your dead lips, take the empty (poisoned) wine glass out of your hand and heave you over to the balcony. And as you slip off the edge, I back out of the room, dash down the stairs, and reach the room full of people just as a sickening crunch from outside distracts them from me.

Everyone knows that you've had a lot of pressure put on you lately. Everyone knows that you have bipolar-like mood swings. Everyone knows that you tried to overdose on sleeping pills last year. Everyone knows this because you can't keep a secret. You can't keep a secret, Nate.

That's why you jumped. That's why you killed yourself. And my secret passed away with you. Because a secret can't be alive when you aren't.

x-x-x-x

_Got a secret, can you keep it, swear this one you'll save,  
Better lock it, in your pocket, taking this one to the grave.  
If I show you then I know you won't tell what I said,  
'Cause two can keep a secret if one of us is dead._

x-x-x-x

But what Mitchie Torres never expected was for her secret to be eavesdropped on. Caitlyn Gellar was in the adjoining bathroom of the master bedroom. She heard every word.

* * *

_Based off the song Secret by The Pierces and inspired by PostSecret. This is my writer's block breaker, so sorry if it's a little dodgy. _

_**Review review review**__ plzthnx!_


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